There are moments in our lives that divide time into a “before” and “after”. 

For Tamar, mother and military veteran, that moment came a few years ago in a hospital room, when a nurse rolled up her 14-year old daughter’s sleeve and revealed an ugly truth that no parent should have to face… let alone see. 

Tamar’s daughter was covered in scars that represented silent pain and evidence of a school system that failed her. 

That moment changed everything for Tamar’s family. It began a journey that led Tamar to fight for not just her child, but every child’s safety and right to choose an education that can be a safe haven and brings back the joy of learning. 

This is their story. 

The Cost of Conformity

Tamar lovingly remarks that her daughter has always been “a unique soul.” The youngest of four, born in Italy and raised in a military family constantly on the move, her daughter’s creativity and individuality were never just quirks - but instead a part of her identity. “She is an artist with a vivid imagination,” who once intentionally picked out mismatched shoes for daycare because “they both felt right.”

But when the family moved to Alabama in late 2021, that individuality became a target.

At her new brick-and-mortar public school, Tamar’s daughter Amira’s creativity was suppressed instead of celebrated. The young students faced strict dress codes that dictated student’s clothing down to the color of their collared shirt and the cut of their pants. Even when accessorizing within dress-code limitations, school administration would take issue with her appearance because it set her apart from the crowd. 

Fingerless gloves worn to protect severe eczema were deemed ‘unacceptable’ even with a doctor’s note. Tamar was called due to ‘inappropriate’ shoe and jewelry choice, even though nothing was in direct conflict with the written dress-code policy. “I didn't understand what was happening behind the scenes,” Tamar recalls, “but I knew the school administration was unhappy with how my daughter expressed herself.”

Each phone call from the school administration seemed less about education and more about control. Tamar began wondering if it wasn't the accessories that were the problem, but that the administration had just decided that they didn't like her daughter. 

Behind daily phone calls, a darker reality was forming in the classroom that Tamar was completely unaware of. Teasing from student peers was made worse when teachers and other adults in the building chimed in with verbal harassment. The same adults who should have been Amira’s protectors. 

The Breaking Point

Close to the end of the school year, Tamar took her daughter out of school one day for a routine tooth extraction. When the nurse requested her daughter remove her hoodie, Amira’s hidden pain was discovered. 

The nurse immediately separated Tamar from her daughter, following hospital protocol. After being escorted away, she stood outside the door, devastated and desperate to be there with her baby.  “I couldn’t even comfort her. They wouldn’t let me,” she recalled. “All I knew was she was hurting, and I wasn’t sending her back to the place that caused it.”

During the next few hours, Tamar made two phone calls: one to her mother, and one to the school principal. Tamar was resolved that her daughter would never set foot in that school building again. 

She would find a way to give her child an education that did not subject her to this level of trauma. 

Finding Safety and Strength in School Choice

Before leaving the hospital, Tamar discovered and enrolled her daughter into a public virtual school. Virtual schooling was not a new concept. In fact, Tamar’s children had been enrolled in a virtual school before during a military relocation. But this time, enrollment felt different for it wasn’t to preserve convenience or allow for stability. It was for survival. 

In the months that followed, Tamar watched her daughter begin to heal - physically and mentally. A new counselor Tamar brought in became a steady source of comfort and growth. “I started to see Amira’s voice come back,” Tamar said. “She began talking again, sharing her feelings, laughing. I realized how much fear had silenced her before.”

Virtual school gave Amira a sense of safety she hadn’t felt in years. She could once again learn without fear of ridicule or punishment for simply being herself. She could express her creativity freely, focus on her academics, and work at her own pace.

But most importantly, Tamar could see that her daughter felt safe. “As a parent, it’s given me peace of mind,” she said. “I don’t have to worry about her being dropped off five miles from home by the wrong bus driver, or bullied for what she wears. I can see what she’s doing, who she’s with, and if something goes wrong online, I can step in right away.”

The Perspective of a Military Family

For Tamar, a life of service has meant being able to quickly adapt to change and new environments. Having grown up in a military family, choosing to serve, and later raising her own children across multiple states and countries, she knows better than most how deeply an environment can shape a child’s education.

For military families like hers, stability is a luxury. The ability to choose where and how their children learn can mean a world of difference, especially when it comes to the quality and continuity of your child’s education. “When you move as much as we do,” Tamar says, “you realize quickly that not every school is the same. You have to ask yourself… what kind of environment are we walking into this time?”

“School choice gives us the power to ask that question, and the ability to do something about it.”

A Mother’s Protective Promise 

Looking back, Tamar sees her family’s journey as one of resilience and unwavering love. She’s fought the hard battles so her children did not have to face them alone. 

“I’m proud of how far Amira has come,” she said. “She’s learned that her voice matters. That she doesn’t have to shrink who she is to fit in. And she’s seen that her mama will fight for her, every single time.”

As Tamar often tells other parents who ask about her decision, “Virtual school isn’t right for everyone. But it’s worth looking at when brick-and-mortar isn’t working.” She’s helped friends and colleagues explore their options, watching as one child flourished online while another returned to in-person classes stronger and more confident than before.

“That’s the beauty of choice,” she said. “It’s not about one school being better than another. It’s about finding the right school for your child.”

Because when parents are empowered to choose, children are empowered to thrive.